Placement of the ductwork is bad

The placement of my air ducts is just horrible. I want to find the HVAC contractor that set up the ductwork and shake him. The ductwork travels through the ceiling of the house and releases from an air vent. The placement of the air vents are no good. One of the air vents is right above my stove. So anytime I fry something on a burner, the steam and odor gets sucked up into the ductwork. The whole house then reeks of what I am cooking. Next, the steam and grease frequently ruin the air vent. I swear I have to take off the vent and clean that portion of ductwork every month. Another air vent is right above the shower. The steam from the shower then creates condensation in the vent when the cooling system is on. I am always battling mold in that section of the HVAC ducts. The last horrible placement is right above my bed. You would think having air blowing directly on you at night would be great. I hate it. I frequently wake up because I am too hot or too cold. It is almost like the HVAC is working too well since I am placed so perfectly. Additionally, the air quality is naturally dry. So having dry air blow on me for hours is no good. I frequently am battling chapped lips, bloody noses and dry skin. I hate my central HVAC so much that I honestly want it all gone. I might be happier with a ductless HVAC option. It seems to be the only solution.

HVAC worker